Saturday, July 28, 2007

If I'm sobbin' into the spaghetti, honey, just turn off the radio

I grew up on country on the radio. I loved music, loved to sing. 70's country is, if you'll pardon the obvious bias, the best out there. I was a bit naive, though, as I clearly remember my mom and I singing loudly along to the "Jose Cuervo" song many a time - we had no idea it was tequila!

I can't remember now if I was naive when it came to tearjerker songs. I just can't recall any that I thought were particularly sad. Maybe they didn't infiltrate my brain, or maybe I didn't have life experience to recognize them for what they were.

I moved away from country when I was in high school because I was tired of being the odd one out - NOBODY else listened to country! I've pretty well stayed with pop/rock since then, when I bothered to even turn on the radio, which wasn't often after getting married and having kids. I also love to listen to Broadway musicals, so those have often been what's on instead of the actual radio.

But, you know how it is when you start getting ol.... er, slightly more advanced in years. You begin waxing nostalgic for the things of your youth. So, I decided to hunt down a country station here. What fun! I found a great station that has a good mix of old and new, so I get the fun, new stuff while not feeling completely lost because I don't know any of the songs at all. Hearing those old favorites brings me right back to my childhood.

But then. ACK. That very first day, I'm listening along, trying to decide what I like, when this song came on. Wife is in the hospital, husband apparently travels a lot and has been caught out away from home when she goes in the hospital, tries desperately to get home in time, but misses her and is left with just a loving note. THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT, PEOPLE?! I was a sobbing wreck by the time this was over!

There's something you should know about me. I'm very emotional, but I HATE, HATE, HATE to cry in front of people. Anyone. Not that I don't like to have a good session of wailing and gnashing of teeth, but only if there's nobody around, and they won't be for a good 6-8 hours. I go all Rudolph, and my eyes get that puffy undereye thing going on that betrays me. It's not pretty, folks.

It's not that I think crying is a weakness, in general. I have never looked down on anyone who cries, anywhere. (Excepting the two drama majors who live in my house and are currently less than 5 feet tall.) It's just something I don't like to do, myself. It's just one of my quirks.

So imagine my surprise when a couple of days later yet another one comes on the radio. This song at least isn't crushingly depressing, but it's something that makes a parent's heart just break into a hundred pieces, because let's face it - it's going to happen someday. And we all know that's exactly how we're going to feel. Truly, we "Loved Her First", and giving away our daughter in marriage is going to be one of the happiest and saddest days of our life, all wrapped into one.

Despite the fact that I hate to cry in front of people, I'm distressingly emotional, especially after becoming a parent. Kodak commercials? Pass the tissues, please. Those Campbell's Soup foster children commercials that were on a few years ago? I had to leave the room. And we won't discuss just how bad reading the last Harry Potter book has affected this currently PMS'ing woman this last week. (Let's just say that my tear glands are wondering if they get vacation benefits, and leave it at that.)

Since most of my radio listening happens in the kitchen while I'm either washing dishes or cooking dinner, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if my husband manages to come home a little earlier than I expected one day and catch me boo-hooing into the macaroni. And boy, am I going to feel really silly when I have to explain that, no, everything's fine, I was just listening to the radio. Yeah. Just turn off the radio, honey, and pass me a Prozac. I'll be fine once Jose Cuervo comes back on.

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